|For your Valentine tonight, how about breaking open a bottle of “Naughty Girl?”|
Or there’s a chance that the “Fat Cat” will be looking for some “Butterfly Kisses” in return for a “Black Opal.”
Kathy Chrudimsky, who manages Luxury Living Warehouse north of Antigo, stocks over 324 varieties of wine, ranging from pricey pinots to modest merlots.
And today, Valentine’s Day, is her day.
Luxury Living promises to change “whine into wine,” Chrudimsky said, and she points to unique bottles with labels as complex as any novel, with writing reminiscent of the “Harry Potter,” “Hobbit” or Even “Fifty Shades” variety.
“Tranquility Outlook” encouraged imbibers to “let your thoughts aimlessly wander. Wine helps you drift off to that special place. Kick back and watch the sun set slowly through a glass of memories.”
There’s also “Skinny Dip Point,” promising lakeside conversations...what happens from there is up to you.”
While the wineries run the gamut from “TXT Wines” with labels include “WTF,” “GR8,” “OMG,” “LOL” and “LMAO,” to “Once Upon A Wine,” which labels its wines after popular children’s stories, the focus of wine for valentine’s drinking is on lovers, with names to match.
According to the Associated Press, whether you’re interested in the “Birds & Bees” sweet red wine or want to cut straight to the chase with some “Simply Naked” chardonnay, bottles abound with labels that range from sweet to saucy.
Feeling true to the one you love? Perhaps “Monogamy” wine is what you seek. Or maybe the mood calls for “Menage a Trois,” a popular line of California wines from Trinchero Family Estates. (For the record, the name stems from the fact that the flagship wine, a red blend, is a mix of zinfandel, merlot and cabernet sauvignon.)
For a wine that makes a definite statement about your intentions, the Taken Wine Co. has one wine called “Taken” and another called “Complicated.” A third, “Available,” is planned.
The company was founded by Carlo Trinchero and Josh Phelps, childhood friends who grew up in the Napa Valley and both have family in the wine business. The inspiration for the company name, launched in 2010, was when they joked that all the names they wanted were, literally, taken.
But after a while they began to explore the idea of marketing their wines with a wink to modern romance. The result was wines that take their names from the frequently used social media statuses. “Taken” is a red wine, a blend of cabernet sauvignon and merlot; “Complicated” is available in a red blend and a chardonnay. “Available” will also be made in multiple varietals.
“Wine has a history of romance, and Taken Wine Company is putting a new millennial spin on it,” Phelps said. “Taken is the perfect Valentine’s gift to let someone know how you feel — or even to propose with.”
Speaking of the married life, “Monogamy” wine comes from California-based Canopy Management and is available as a cabernet sauvignon or chardonnay. The company first came out with a wine cleverly named “PromisQous,” a blend of cabernet sauvignon, merlot, zinfandel and petite syrah. At tastings, people would ask, “Here’s PromisQous. What about Monogamy?” Mary Ann Vangrin, company spokeswoman, said.
In other words, being “PromisQous” led to “Monogamy.”
“At one tasting recently, we heard a story about a guy who had proposed to his girlfriend with a bottle of Monogamy on which he had written ‘Will you marry me?’ (She said yes.) Clearly, this wouldn’t have worked out so well had it been a bottle of PromisQous,” Vangrin noted.
Perhaps yours is not a storybook romance?
Chrudimsky, at Luxury Living, might suggest the couple “Relax,” to some “Earth-Zin & Fire.”
But, if a significant other pours “Ass Kisser” an Australian variety produced by Kissing Ass & Braying Friends, or, worse yet, “Sweet Bitch,” a pinot grigio/reisling, it may be time to take your corkscrew and go home.
After all, you don’t want to go “Stark Raving Red.”
Cathy Chrudimsky of Luxury Living is serving up some rather unique wines for Valentine’s Day.